Let’s talk about the “D” word.

As a wellness coach, I have worked with a variety of clients in different aspects of wellness such as fitness, mental health in areas like managing anxiety and depression, mindset coaching, health and wellness and so on. After doing this for 10 years or so, I have picked up on some really important attributes that are crucial if a client is going to be successful in making long term behaviour change.

Attributes such as persistence, commitment, resilience, patience and so on.

There is one word that comes into play when we start to look at all of these attributes and how they influence behaviour change in any aspect of life. This word in a sense is encapsulated in all of the different attributes and it is a key determining factor in whether someone will be successful long term or not.

That word is discipline. Ugh right?.

Discipline is defined in the Google dictionary as “train oneself to do something in a controlled and habitual way”.

The benefits of cultivating self discipline are numerous but I will just mention a few here such as;

  • more stability
  • less anxiety
  • helps you achieve your goals
  • the consistent habit of sticking to your goal and being able to control/manage your emotions and feelings and actions will boost your self confidence and self esteem as you see yourself achieving your goals one at a time
  • being disciplined also makes you a lot more resilient which means that you are able to cope better with challenges and in the long run, this will make you a happier person.

Discipline is about learning how to do something repeatedly even when you don’t feel like doing it, Discipline is really about creating habits and if we do this well enough, this could be habits that last for a lifetime. Remember, most of our behaviour is habitual so if we can substitute bad habits with better/good habits, then we will start to see our lives change for the better.

Discipline requires you to push past your emotions and this is extremely important because when it comes to doing something new, that we are not used to and that may feel quite uncomfortable, we need to be able to ignore that little voice in our head that tries to deter us. We can’t afford to give in to our emotions because our emotions will be predominantly led by the thoughts we have about what we are about to do.

Excuses like i am too tired, I don’t feel like it, it hurts, its uncomfortable quickly come to the surface when we are being asked to do new things to improve our wellness such as wake up earlier, not hitting the snooze button, make time to meditate or to exercise, Journalling, gratitude practise, eat less processed foods and more fruits and vegetables and so on and so forth.

Now the logical part of our mind may even remind us that these things are good for us and we know if we keep doing them, even thought it may be uncomfortable in the short run, In the long run, we will benefit greatly. nonetheless, we feel powerless to resist our emotions because lets face it being disciplined is hard work and this is why many people never succeed with reaching their goals.

So how can we cultivate discipline in our lives so we can achieve our goals?

Here are a few tips that may help you;

  • The first one is pretty simple; don’t wait for it to feel right. As I just mentioned above, we have to ignore our feelings pretty much when it comes to discipline. If we waited till it felt right, we would never do most of the things we need to do to change our lives. This is because changing your life means stepping outside your comfort zone and taking a risk, something most of us would rather avoid. So don’t wait for it to feel right. Just go ahead and do what you are meant to do when you said you would do it.
  • The second tip is to Set goals and Hold yourself accountable.
  • The third is to start small, set small achievable goals rather than large ones so you don’t get overwhelmed
  • Next is to get an accountability buddy, someone who can check up on you and who you’ve given permission to tell you when you’re not doing what you should be doing
  • The final tip is to create an environment that supports your goals and make sure you start prioritising your daily activities so you can get things done.

I hope you find these tips useful and if you do have any further questions on how to cultivate discipline or any other wellness related questions, feel free to send me an email at tayokutiwrites@gmail.com.

How to do what seems impossible.

Have you ever had a goal or vision for your life that seemed so huge that you had no idea how to even get started?I have definitely had that feeling before, you look at whatu want to achieve and you have no idea how or where to start.

This is one of the most common reasons why people fail to start working on their goals or fail to meet their goal. That feeling of overwhelm, being stuck and not knowing where to begin can be scary however, being scared does not have to stop you and I have my own formula for attacking big or little goals. Most people use or talk about the acronym “SMART” but I find it a bit overused and sometimes unhelpful so this is how I coach my clients. Examine your mindset. Do you believe in yourself? Are you willing to go all the way even if you think people may not get what you are doing? Will you keep going when it gets hard, when no one seems to care and nothing is happening? Preparing yourself to be in it for the long haul is the first step to success

Examine your motivators. Are they mainly extrinsic(external) or intrinsic (internal) factors. E.g. I want to lose weight so I can get a man or so people can like me is extrinsic. I want to lose weight so I can feel good about myself and have better long term health is intrinsic.  Having goals linked to extrinsic factors can work but inherently they are not linked to sustained and long term success. So you might lose weight in the short term but what happens when you lose weight and you don’t find a man? Finding intrinsic factors to power your goal may help you stay in for the long run

In the 3rd part of the process we put together some of the SMART criteria especially ensuring your goals are specific, measurable and achievable. Wanting to lose weight is not specific but wanting to lose 10 kg in 3 months is specific. Also we need to have realistic expectations when we set goals, expecting to lose 20 kg in a month is unrealistic, expecting to lose 4kg in a month is realistic and definitely possible

Once all of the above are in place, the next piece of the puzzle is to take baby steps. Fear of stepping out and failure can really stop us from doing anything but if we design our plan around taking really small steps that move us away from doing nothing and actually get us in the direction of our goals then we are off to a good start. So now you can set about moving towards your goal by having a plan

I talk about a way to do this in my reels from yesterday. (to see my reels, visit my Instagram page @avoda_wellness I had so much fun messing around with that yesterday and using the speeded up voice, it made me laugh! and that brings me to the final bit of my process…..

5. Have fun! Enjoy the process. 

https://www.instagram.com/avoda_wellness/